Anxiety

I am lost in my own untrusting, uncaring, unsympathetic mind as I dont care about anyone else’s *uckin issues and problems, my problems are at the forefront of my own depression right now and to hold someone’s hand through anything is not going to happen. My world is collapsing, I’m loosing my footing on the wide path of life that rolls like a roller coaster on speed through my overly active imagination of unanswered questions and thoughts. Checking out seems as the only way to survive right now, crawl into my happy place they say, but that is lost as well. I used to think about the calming of the ocean gentily rushing towards the beach as to wash away all the miseries and tears that have been dropped for the mere glimpse of a setting sunset, but I cant even bring a picture to mind.