I want to say something that is a little off topic from either of my blogs that has been weighing on my heart recently. I am human, very human. As such I am prone to mistakes, lapses in judgment, and sometimes I hurt people. My heart is to never make these mistakes, especially at the risk of hurting those I love. There have been times, however, where that is what I end up doing and it’s like a punch in the gut and a shot through the heart. I hate seeing people hurt and nothing makes me feel like a failure in life more than when it is at my own hands.
For those of you close to me you know that after my wife and I separated things rapidly spiraled out of control and we both did things that hurt the other person and hurt our respective families. Since then we have worked through some of those tough subjects and have managed to come to a general truce from the constant shelling that was the last few years of our marriage. The lingering issue is the collateral damage that occurred and the hurt that is still lingering with loved ones that got caught in the crossfire. A lot of healing has happened since then but there are still moments of vulnerability that show some wounds are still repairing themselves.
I realize that it is easy being on the outside of a situation to make snap judgments and hold grudges. I mean we do that when we observe people we don’t even know, like characters in movies or reality TV stars, we have no connection to the situation yet our culture embraces judgment and bias as a pastime. But when you translate that back to people who have made mistakes in their life and are working hard to repair the damage that was done it pushes the healing process back weeks or months and sometimes even years.
I know that everyone is entitled to their opinions, and that there are consequences that come with certain decisions, but there is a point of diminishing returns where the effort to keep wounds open is no longer worth the morbid pleasure felt by reopening them. This is my very naïve and more than likely ineffectual attempt to plea with those who will listen, please be kind. And I am not just writing this for myself and my family. I am writing this for everyone who has ever made a bad decision that they regret, for everyone who hurt someone who didn’t mean to, and for anyone who has ever tried to repair damage that they have done to a loved one. We need kindness, compassion, understanding, and more than anything else we need forgiveness. I love you all and I hope this has spoken to some and comforted others. Never stop loving and never stop forgiving.